- January 6, 2025
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‘How do I write a wedding vow?’
Asking yourself this question is completely normal!
After all, how often do we find ourselves in the position of writing wedding vows?
Ideally, once in a lifetime.
If you are reading this article, it’s probably because you’re getting married soon
and want to express what you promise your partner
in a wedding ceremony.
Or perhaps you want to renew your wedding vows.
In this short guide
on how to write wedding vows,
you will find some tips and suggestions to help you write your vows.
If you need specific examples and a template, you can also download my ebook at the end. (Currently only available in German and Spanish)
It is important to know that this article is just a suggestion.
If you don’t agree at all, that’s perfectly fine.
It’s only a short guide.
Let's get started: The length of the vows
You can either opt for a short vow of 1 to 2 sentences,
or for a longer one.
Here you should agree as a couple, it shouldn’t be that one person recites a long text while the other only says 2 sentences.
Two minutes is a good guideline for the length of a vow.
How do I start?
First of all, of course, you should brainstorm.
Write down everything that goes through your mind when you think of your loved one:
memories, feelings, anecdotes, gifts you’ve received, special moments.
Review the relationship – ask yourself questions:
- How have you grown as a person in this relationship?
- What makes you so sure that you want to have this woman/man by your side forever?
- What do you love about your partner? Strenghts, quirks, habits, character?
- How do you feel with her/him?
- What has been the biggest challenge? What were the best moments?
- And just as important: How do you envision the future and what would you like to promise him/her?
The structure of the wedding vows
Every good speech has a clear structure – a wedding vow is also a short speech.
I suggest you divide the vows into 3 parts:
Part 1 – A short introduction
Part 2 – includes past and present: Shared experiences, important and significant experiences in the relationship, feelings
Part 3 – includes the future: The promise
How do I start?
You can start your introduction with:
a question: ‘Why am I standing here?’
a fact: ‘I knew from the first moment that I wanted to marry you’
a line from your favorite song,
the first words you exchanged,
or with numbers:‘8 years, 9 months, 5 days and 8 hours…. That’s how long we’ve known each other’.
Part 2
Here you can incorporate some of the elements you wrote down in your brainstorming session (above).
For example, answers to the following questions:
- How have you developed as a person in this relationship?
- What makes your partner so unique?
- What shared anecdotes do you remember?
- Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with her/him?
Example:
‘Even though I couldn’t stand my former boss and still can’t, I have to be eternally grateful to him for sending me on that boring training course – because that’s where I met you and my life changed 360 degrees.
In these last 3 years with you, I’ve slept peacefully through the night, prepared the most delicious breakfasts, received the most passionate ‘good morning kisses’ and made the most beautiful travels of my life.
You have brought a security and a freshness into my life that I would never have thought possible before. You make me a better and happier person.’
Part 3
Here, you list what you promise your partner or what you would like to do for him/her in the future.
Use sentences like: ‘I promise you…’ or ‘I want to…’ or ‘I will…’
I will aim to be the best husband/wife for you every day.
I will always support you and stand by your side in all situations.
And I promise to honor, respect and love you every day of my life.
Multilingual wedding vows
It is always beautiful to see
how the couples I accompany recite
their vows in several languages.
Monolingual:
Some couples formulate their vows
in the language in which they communicate in.
Others say their vows exclusively in the language of their partner.
in the language of their partner.
Bilingual:
Some couples say their vows in their native language
and add a few sentences in the other’s language.
Others choose to say them in both languages –
equally side by side.
Multilingual:
And it even happens that a wedding couple recites them in 3 different languages.
If you need more detailed tips and templates, download the ebook. In it you will find:
- 1. General tips (e.g. length and structure)
- 2. What content should be included in the vows
- 3. Help with brainstorming
- 4. How can I structure a wedding vow?
- 5. Various examples
- 6. Several templates
I hope you enjoy writing your vows and have a wonderful ceremony and wedding!
